Written by me. Contains copious profanity. You fuck!

Title: Wreck-It Ralph

Dir: Rich Moore

Released: 8th Feb, 2013 (UK)

First up, a quick disclaimer: I hate spoilers. I’m sure no one likes spoilers (though there seems to be one hell of an appetite for them, if the internet’s anything to go by – and unfortunately it is), but I hate them. Nothing gets my goat more than a friend going “check out this film! You won’t believe the devastating scene at the end of the second act!”. Brilliant. Now I’m totally prepared for devastating scene at the end of the second act. You unimaginable penis. Best case scenario? It lives up to the expectation, and I go: “oh yeah, X was right”.

Which is what they want, by the way. All would-be spoilers are needy little urchins, clamouring for your attention and approval, desperate to piggyback on and leech off a film’s achievements, claiming they called it and understand it, like the validation-hungry, glory-seeking guttersnipes they are.

Worst case scenario? I’m totally underwhelmed by what otherwise might have been a pivotal and life-altering moment in a landmark picture and will never enjoy it in the way it was intended. Way to go, you afterbirth. Read the rest of this entry »